HOLLAND — Every thing appeared thrilling for Ashley Overbeek.
She was a single of the best basketball and soccer gamers in the condition. Her long run couldn’t have seemed considerably brighter.
But that is what every person else noticed on the outside.
On the inside of, Overbeek had suffered sexual abuse, was battling multiple mental heath issues — bipolar, borderline individuality disorder, obsessive compulsive condition and extreme stress — and turning to medication and alcohol to escape just about every layer of her circumstance.
It was a huge load on a teenager and spiraled into uncontrollable addictions, leading to overdoses, suicide tries and a grip on her existence that she couldn’t get over.
“I ultimately got there. There are only three ways out of addiction, demise, institutions or getting cleanse,” Overbeek claimed. “I appeared at my decisions. I received rather shut to going to jail multiple occasions. I didn’t want to die — for a although, I did because I was in this kind of a dark spot I felt like the only way out was death.”
Overbeek spoke out all through Mental Overall health Consciousness Month, hoping her tale can help others out of identical scenarios — or, with any luck ,, aid other individuals prevent the dim highway she was on.
“I do not want the identical detail to take place to everyone else,” she claimed. “It just requires acquiring curious just one time and you blink, and you are undertaking it each individual working day.”
In its place of participating in elite university basketball, the all-condition performer at Hamilton, was getting superior and hating herself for it.
The additional her psychological overall health difficulties afflicted her, the more she turned to substances, a circle she just couldn’t crack.
1 in six youngsters bargains with some kind of mental well being concern. The typical delay involving onset of psychological ailment indicators and treatment is 11 many years, according to mentalhealthfirstaid.org. Two-thirds of teenagers with addictions have dealt with some sort of mental health and fitness concerns, in accordance to childmind.org.
But Overbeek sees people today not speaking about it till issues are too far down the darkish road.
“Everyone is so ashamed to communicate about it and you really don’t have to be ashamed to chat about it,” Overbeek mentioned. “It is serious. It is a authentic challenge and if you provide it to light, other men and women can support you. You talk up about it, you might assist a person – including by yourself.”
It started off after mental health and fitness concerns, such as publish-traumatic strain ailment from staying abused by an prolonged loved ones member.
“In high school, I commenced fooling about with products and alcohol,” she reported. “I experienced a great deal of darkish times in higher school, the PTSD was so undesirable and other mental wellness difficulties, that I couldn’t slide asleep until finally 4-5 in the early morning, then I experienced to get up at 7 to go to school. It pressured me out to the stage that my senior calendar year, that I couldn’t have two total days in college with out dealing with an difficulty. My junior and senior several years ended up very dim, and I do not genuinely remember it.”
Someway, she was able to become an all-point out basketball participant, turning into Hamilton’s all-time scoring leader.
Gives began to pour in for basketball scholarships, but it was a thing Overbeek couldn’t offer with on top rated of everything she was likely via.
It would only get even worse.
‘Definition of insanity’
Overbeek averted university, in its place started off operating, but addition was much too difficult of an adversary.
“Things got definitely poor,” she reported. “I achieved some mates that weren’t the ideal influences. I commenced smoking weed just about every working day, alongside with the supplements. Then I commenced experimenting with other factors like cocaine, acid and Xanax. I was making use of each single working day.”
Addiction’s grip tightened with each individual use.
“After two yrs, I was employing seriously each day until eventually I blacked out,” Overbeek mentioned. “I wasn’t conversing to my relatives at the time. Then the psychological wellbeing challenges became even worse. I experienced four suicide tries that landed me in the hospital from overdoses on tablets. I went into the medical center 11 periods inside of two years.
“I had a truly undesirable overdose in Detroit. My heart stopped and they experienced to bring me again to existence. I last but not least was in a position to admit I had a problem.”
“I was in rehab in Florida, then yet another that centered on psychological wellbeing. I came back again and commenced employing once more promptly. Then I went to California for another rehab. I left and acquired picked up at the airport and was substantial in the airport parking ton previously.”
Addiction’s grip just would not permit go.
“I just acquired introduced back again to everyday living and I went back to it. It was crazy,” she said. “That is the definition of insanity. I played that video game of rehabbing and acquiring significant.”
Soon after her sixth rehab stint, Overbeek eventually was able to shake the drug use. But an additional fight was about to commence.
From medications to liquor
As Overbeek slowly and gradually pulled out of the grips of drug addiction, she nonetheless struggled with psychological wellbeing troubles and discovered it hard to cope.
Her best mate overdosed and died.
She then turned to alcoholic beverages.
“I began ingesting for the reason that I needed a little something. I started drinking actually seriously. Wake up — drink. Go to bed — drink,” she explained. “I started out consuming the moment I woke up. I was again living with my household at this place. My mom received me to confess I experienced a trouble and took me to the hospital. I arrived back with a established of guidelines from my dad and mom. They had been in demand of my medicine. I couldn’t go away or have anyone above and someone had to view me at all times.
“It labored. That was Oct. 13, 2018, and I have been sober at any time considering the fact that.”
Overbeek said she didn’t want to halt having large since she enjoyed it.
Creating it more tough all through the darkish times was the group she surrounded herself with.
She was not chatting to her family members and was hanging all-around other addicts.
Those people combos designed it exceptionally complicated for her to acknowledge to herself that she experienced a dilemma.
It started off with pushing men and women absent.
“Nov. 7 of her junior calendar year, it came out about her abuse. We didn’t genuinely know what was going on,” mom Leane Overbeek explained. “Then we come to feel guilty on the lookout back again since we really should have witnessed the indicators. We have persons say that all the time to us, asking how could we not know. Freshman yr of high faculty, we experimented with to speak to her about items following she threatened suicide in faculty, and that was a nightmare. Sophomore 12 months, I had CPS referred to as on me. CPS figured out it was false. Her senior calendar year, I had a person tell me I should get rid of myself since I was not really worth everything as a mother or father. I experienced a anxious breakdown following that all occurred.”
Leane reported she felt helpless and by yourself hoping to do what was finest for Ashley.
“Rehab is not a cure. It is a instrument that helps them. But if they are not eager to get that assist, it is not heading to issue. Each individual time, she introduced far more again from there. I want mothers and fathers to know you have to help. People are beginning to realize that this stuff is taking place. I had to go via it by yourself, but you don’t have to,” Leane reported.
Gradually the bridge was designed from both sides.
Overbeek was dwelling with roommates and acquired kicked out due to the fact of making use of. She went to live with her grandparents.
“They ended up incredibly affected person and comprehension and we experienced a good relationship,” she claimed. “But I nevertheless wasn’t speaking to my mom. We experienced a whole lot of difficulties going back to higher faculty.”
No family holidays, no spouse and children dinners. Very little.
“I thought that we were being further than mend,” Leane stated.
But she sooner or later moved again in with her parents.
Overbeek was still consuming at the time right until her moms and dads confronted her about it.
“Moving back again with my moms and dads saved my life,” she reported. “It wasn’t straightforward. It was awful for a although. I was so pissed off they had a babysitter occur and sit with me for the duration of the working day. I was 23. It was so uncomfortable. I felt like I didn’t need a babysitter — but I did. I truly, seriously did. It saved my everyday living.”
Though she was reconciling with her mother and father, yet another essential aspect was place into place.
“I identified God,” she stated. “I experienced a instant in the healthcare facility when they were being carrying out a church company on a Sunday. I felt this sensation, this calming experience that I experienced never felt prior to letting me know factors were being likely to be Alright. My mom and I received baptized jointly.”
Overbeek commenced to go to church reconcile with her household and recurrent Alcoholics Nameless meetings. “I had to construct relationships once again. All of individuals pals I considered I experienced, remaining and I had to get started about,” she explained. “I shed all of my close friends.”
In the meantime, her boyfriend, Austin, who was also an addict, got sober with Overbeek.
“He has been a substantial piece mainly because he noticed me at my darkest, and now in this article,” she said. “My family members has just been a substantial help.”
“By the grace of God, we have gotten via this,” Leane stated. “Don’t give up on your youngsters and never give up on you.”
What could have been
Following a dominating job in two sports activities in high college, the long run in athletics was bright.
Overbeek could’ve played basketball or soccer at a higher-stage school — or both sports.
But her profession ended up becoming the initially casualty of addition.
“I know what I skipped. I believe about it all the time. It breaks my coronary heart. I look at a lot of sporting activities, and know I could have performed that,” Overbeek explained. “I assume about where by I would have been. I would have been on a team with target and producing buddies for lifetime with a university scene. I just have so considerably regret that it eats me up.”
Overbeek doesn’t want everyone else to go through a scenario like hers. The most crucial point is speaking up.
“It is Ok to have psychological wellbeing challenges, and if you talk out, men and women can aid you,” she mentioned. “That took me a prolonged time.”